It's that T.I.M.E of the week again!

The newsletter that provides actionable life lessons to a wealthier, healthier, and happier future.

The Four Pillars of Trust

Trust is one of the most vital ingredients in any relationship, whether it’s with friends, colleagues, or even yourself.

Trust is like a house held up by four key pillars: Competence, Reliability, Empathy, and Integrity. If one of these pillars weakens or falls, the whole house can start to wobble, showing just how important it is to keep all four strong and steady.

But how do you measure trust?

Rachel Botsman offers a powerful framework that makes this seemingly abstract concept simple and actionable.

Her framework divides trust into two key areas: Capability and Character. Each area contains two traits that help us understand where trust is built, or broken.

Capability

Capability involves competence and reliability. Trust starts with your ability to deliver.

Competence

• This is about having the skills, knowledge, and expertise to follow through.

• When people trust your competence, they feel confident you can get the job done.

• Ask yourself: Am I continuously improving my skills and showing others I can deliver results?

Reliability

• Consistency is key. Keep your word and meet expectations regularly.

• People trust those who are dependable over time, not just in isolated moments.

• Ask yourself: Do people know they can count on me, every time?

Character

This is where trust goes deeper into who you are and how you make others feel.

Empathy

• Genuine care for others builds trust. Listen, understand, and prioritize others needs.

• Showing empathy is about connection, not just compassion.

• Ask yourself: Do I make others feel understood and valued?

Integrity

• Actions speak louder than words, especially when it comes to trust.

• Integrity means to always do the right thing in any situation. It is staying true to your values, even when it’s tough.

• Ask yourself: Am I consistently showing up as the person I say I am?

Try these actionable questions

Botsman’s framework reminds us that trust isn’t all-or-nothing, it’s a balance of strengths and weaknesses across these four traits. So, take a moment to reflect:

• Which of these traits come naturally to you?

• Where do you struggle?

Then practice these actionable steps

1. Boost Competence

• Spend 10 minutes a day learning or practicing a skill.

• Ask one person for feedback this week to improve.

2. Be Reliable

• Write down 3 promises for the week, keep them all.

• Set reminders to follow through on commitments.

3. Show Empathy

• Listen fully in your next conversation, no interruptions.

• Do one small kind act today, like checking in on a friend.

4. Live with Integrity

• Write down your top 3 values and check if your actions align.

• Apologize quickly and honestly if you mess up.

Start small, stay consistent, and trust will follow!

Personal growth begins with understanding these gaps. By working on the areas where you fall short, you don’t just earn trust from others, you also strengthen trust in yourself.

Here are a few truths about trust to keep in mind:

• Trust is built in layers. It requires consistency, vulnerability, and courage.

• Transparency alone doesn’t build trust; it’s about showing up authentically.

• Trust and doubt can coexist. It’s okay to question and grow in the process.

Before you can build trust in others, you need to build trust in yourself. Keep every promise you make to yourself, be reliable and be consistent in everything that you do.

The rest will take care of itself.

It’s taken me 31 years to properly learn this.

There are still days when I have to catch myself after feeling like I’m a victim in a situation.

In every situation, you have control over how you act. You may not be able to control the outcome but you can sure influence it.

Growth comes when you zoom out and be one hundred percent honest with yourself about the part you played in the event or situation.

As soon as you take accountability for everything in your life, you gain back full control and realize you are the only one stopping you from achieving the life you dream about.

In bad situations that you actually have no control over, ask yourself, “How is this the best thing that has happened to me?”

Confucius once said, "The person who blames others has a long way to go; the person who blames himself is halfway there; the person who blames no one has arrived."

Be honest with yourself. Blame no one.

I think I may just start quoting rappers instead of Philosophers.

Unfortunately, conflict is a part of life, no matter how much we try to avoid it.

People come and go. Relationships fail and blossom.

Even years after his passing, Tupac shows us how humility and letting go of resentment is how you find peace.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

• Reason: They come to teach you a lesson or help you through a difficult time. Once their purpose is fulfilled, they may leave.

• Season: They are part of your life for a period, bringing joy, growth, or change. Their role is temporary but meaningful.

• Lifetime: These are the people who stay with you through thick and thin, shaping your life in lasting ways.

If you have been wronged and they have left, wish them well. If you are lucky enough to have lifetime people in your life, cherish them.

I challenge you right now to send a message of appreciation to one lifelong person. It will make their day.

I’m kicking off a fun “challenge of the week” experiment, and I’d love for you to join me.

The idea?

Do one thing this week that stretches you just enough to spark progress (without breaking you).

Last week my challenge was to complete my fast and this week, my challenge is to hit every single workout on my training plan. No skipping, no excuses, just showing up and giving it my best. It’s about proving to myself that I can stay consistent, even when life gets busy.

Here are a few ideas if you’re feeling inspired to try your own challenge:

• Tech-Free Night: Pick one evening to unplug, no scrolling, no notifications. Just real-world vibes.

• Gratitude Flip: Go a whole day without complaining (yes, even in traffic) and find one thing to appreciate in every situation.

• Skill Sampler: Spend 30 minutes trying something new, a recipe, a DIY project, or maybe mastering that TikTok trend you keep saving.

The goal isn’t to be perfect; it’s to take action and build momentum.

Doing that thing over a week is manageable and measurable so you are taking to see what works for you and what does not.

If it works, try replicating it until it becomes a healthy habit.

Small wins lead to big changes over time.

What’s your challenge for the week? DM me or reply, I’d love to hear how you’re leveling up!

Ambitious Question

Who do you admire for their trustworthiness and what traits do they embody that you can work on yourself?

In case you missed last week's newsletter, I spoke about:

TEACH: Vision Board Strategy - Learn how to use a vision board to keep your goals in focus and achieve them by categorizing short, medium, and long-term objectives, with tips on flexibility and regular reviews.

INSIGHTS: Your Epic 2025 Plan - Get inspired by Jessie Itzler’s annual planning method, from clearing clutter to choosing a "misogi" mission, and how it can help you create a meaningful life.

MOTIVATION: Fear is Only Surface Deep - Reflect on Edgar Nye’s quote about fear being "a mile wide and an inch deep" and how stepping into it leads to growth.

EXPLORE: Extended Fasting - Discover the benefits of extended fasting, including improved focus, fat burning, and cellular repair, with insights from my personal 5-day fasting journey.

AMBITION QUESTION: What would make 2025 the year you look back on and say, “That’s when everything changed”?

Check it out here.

Feel free to share this if you gained any value from it. Feedback is also welcome.

THANKS FOR READING LEGENDS!